We haven't used this blog for a long time, but it is time for a resurrection. Dan continues to face daily struggles but money is not the biggest issue anymore. Stage 4 cancer and chemo every second week are a recipe for feeling defeated, both physically and emotionally.
While Dan is not ill enough to be in a hospital, and really, who would want to be there anyway, he is too ill to take really good care of himself 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. Many days Dan is too weak to even heat something up on the stove, and on those days he just doesn't eat. This obviously is not a good thing.
Dan's primary caregiver, Bevin, is his number one fan but she cannot be home all the time because she, like the rest of us, has to work. Dan's Mom and Brother also pitch in on a regular basis but Dan really needs more, and as we all know, asking for help is really hard. As a solution, I have created a calendar to make it easier for Dan and Bevin to let us know when our help would be the most useful.
On this calendar we will post Bevin's work hours, Dan's appointment schedule, and Dan's company needs.
The two days after chemo Dan really needs to have someone around most of the day as he is actually still on chemo and he is also talking a lot of extra meds to help cope with nausea and other chemo side effects. It is hard for one person to come stay the whole day, but if two or three of us can pop by for a couple of hours each, we can cover a lot of the day.
On other days, Dan could use at least one person stopping in for an hour or two to see if they can fix him something to eat and to break up the depressingly long day alone. If you can spare a lunch hour once a week, or even once every two weeks, it would be a huge help!
Be warned that some days Dan just can't or doesn't want to chat, but he really appreciates just having someone stop in to check on him. If you can bring something along to keep you busy, sometimes if you just sit quietly for 30 min, Dan will figure out what he wants.
Finally, both Dan and Bevin would appreciate the occasional prepared meal. Home cooked is great but if you want to pick up some healthy take out, that would be awesome as well. I was thinking a couple of dinners a week would be a big help.
If you would like to sign up to help, please contact Lauri to get editing privileges on the calendar.
Then, go ahead and schedule yourself for a visit, or to drop off a meal.
Please don't think this means you can't come visit when Bevin is home, Bevin like company too! The purpose of the calendar is for those of us who want to help Dan to be able to coordinate our efforts.